Essay: On Losing Mummy and Becoming a Dog Mom

Shivani Malik’s essay is a poignant reflection on loss and grief and how she realizes that loving anyone comes with the inherent pain of losing them.

I am bundled up in my tiny studio apartment next to the groaning heater. For a few hours, on this freezing night in Illinois, I don’t want to think. I want to forget about the failed biochemistry experiments. My impending thesis. The looming submission of my research paper.

I rent a movie starring two high powered actresses, Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, called the Holiday. The pairing of heroines of such different styles and personalities must be enough to distract me from the reality that I was falling behind in my doctoral studies.

I haul the laptop onto my pillow and hit play.